The account of Saul’s conversion that we read this week in Acts 9 is so inspiring, but thankfully, later on, Paul repeats the story, but as his own testimony, and he shares many more details that are even more inspirational.
In Acts 22, Paul is in chains, standing in front of King Agrippa, testifying on his own behalf. Here is an excerpt of what he said to the King and to all gathered there:
“...I too was convinced that I ought to do all I could to oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth. 10 And that is what I did in Jerusalem. With authority from the chief priests I put many of the saints in prison, and when they were condemned to death, I cast my vote against them. 11 I frequently had them punished in the synagogues, and I tried to make them blaspheme. In my raging fury against them, I even went to foreign cities to persecute them.
12 In this pursuit I was on my way to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. 13 About noon, O king, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me and my companions. 14 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice say to me in Hebrew, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’
15 ‘Who are You, Lord?’ I asked.
‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. 16 ‘But get up and stand on your feet. For I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen from Me and what I will show you. 17 I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them,18 to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me.’
Wow. I’m so glad Luke recorded this longer version of his testimony. A number of things jumped out at me. First, just reading a more detailed list of the violent and hateful things Paul did to Christians was bone chilling. He was anything but a kind and compassionate man. All of the damage and devastation he caused to the Christian community was fueled, so he thought, by a holy zeal for the Lord. Little did he realize how much of his “righteousness” was actually demonically inspired.
One of the greatest and most irrefutable pieces of evidence that proves Paul’s genuine conversion and supernatural transformation is his newfound “love of people.”
From his own words, we get the strong impression that Saul did not work and play well with others. I suspect he was often in conflict with those around him, even those people with which he had great affinity. But, after he became a Christian, we see both an instant transformation, as well as a steady series of changes he undergoes on the path of his life.
Eventually, this same man who seemed to relish other people’s pain and punishment confessed passionately;
Romans 9:1 I speak the truth in Christ; I am not lying, as confirmed by my conscience in the Holy Spirit. 2 I have deep sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. 3 For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my own flesh and blood, 4 the people of Israel.
Jesus said all people would know we are truly His disciples by our “love for one another.” And we see the true proof of Paul’s authentic relationship with Jesus. In fact, Paul is actually saying something like;
“hand on my heart and the other hand on my family Bible, I solemnly swear that, if it were possible, I would choose to suffer conscious eternal torment away from my Savior, in Hell, if it would mean my Jewish brothers would open their eyes, recognize their Messiah, Jesus, and receive eternal life.”
What a radical difference! It’s almost like he was born again!
Another thing that jumps out at me is the cryptic statement by Jesus that we only learn here in chapter 22.
“It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”
What? What goads? What’s a goad?
A goad is a sharpened stick that can be used to poke a beast of burden in the backside to “motivate” it to move in a certain direction. Often a goad must be used to get an animal to turn directions. A stubborn animal might try to kick that goad out of his master’s hand, or worse. But usually, with enough pressure, the message is received and the order is obeyed.
Paul was not an ox, but his attitudes and actions revealed him to be a man with a certain ox-like strength and a “stiff neck.” So what was Jesus using as “goads” in Paul’s life that he was continually “kicking against?”
I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that I believe the Lord orchestrated lots of “goad-events” in the life of Saul of Tarsus, but the greatest ones were things like;
Stephen’s passionate preaching and luminous face
The forgiveness extended to him by the Christians he was abusing
The many Messianic prophecies the Christians would often cite…prophecies with which he was very familiar
Perhaps his negative self-talk described in Acts 9 was a necessity. Maybe he was always “breathing out murderous threats” so as to quiet the goading voices in his head. I’m sure he could hear the voices of the crying children and screaming wives as he dragged their husbands violently away. The love, prayers and forgiveness extended to him by the same people he was hurting had to bring some sharp pressure on his heart. So many loud and convicting thoughts must have reverberated within his soul.
And the more he “kicked”, the sharper the “goad” became.”
Until, in the perfect time, God, the Eternal Son, Jesus Christ revealed Himself to Saul, and in the “twinkling of an eye, he was changed.”
PRN: Lord, thank you for saving people. Thank you for transforming hard hearts, turning stone into flesh. We trust that You will use the example of our lives to goad our loved ones into seeking You, and we know everyone who seeks You earnestly will find You. So, Lord Jesus…introduce Yourself to the ones we least expect and use them mightily to build up what they now seek to destroy. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
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